Dear Caida,
Sometimes I don't know what is sinking in and what is just over your head at your age--especially with your circumstances. Even the testing you've had done has had inconsistent results. This is more true with religious/spiritual things than anything else for me, because I know you don't have anything you learn at church or in our home reinforced anywhere else for you. Is Church just something you do when it's convenient? Why is your answer to everything "Jesus?" Does all the teaching in the world counteract the examples you get at home--not that your mom is a BAD example by any means, but she just doesn't believe the same things I do...or at least doesn't want to LIVE the things I think she believes deep down.
All these things constantly swim in my mind, especially with your 8th birthday coming up. When you turn 8, you will be baptized. I have mixed feelings about this, because I don't really know if you know what it means to make these covenants with the Lord, and I don't take them lightly. But I will always be here for you if you ever have any questions or need any support. And your simple faith that Jesus lives and loves you is so STRONG at times I think, "What else could I ask for?" When I talked to you about it, you excitedly and emphatically declared that you WOULD LOVE to get baptized...even though you didn't know what it was...just because you knew you were supposed to. Ultimately, it's not my decision--it's yours and your mom's and you both want to go for it, so I'm supporting you 100%!
There was a moment recently that made me think maybe you ARE "getting" some of this. A few weeks ago you spent the night with us. You'd had some bad seizures that week, and we had your emergency medicine on hand in case it got TOO bad that night, but really you just needed some rest and I needed to not stay up all night staring at you and worrying. I talked to you a little about a priesthood blessing, and you were all for it.
Paul came into the room and told you that Heavenly Father loved you. He told you that we can ALWAYS pray to Him when we need something, but sometimes it's good to ask for a little something "more." Getting a Priesthood blessing is really a special message from Him with special promises attached, that can help us. He explained that it was contingent on YOUR faith in HIM. He asked you if you believed Jesus and Heavenly Father loved you. You said yes without hesitation. He gave you a blessing--he said that he wished SO BADLY that he could just speak your seizures away forever, but he felt constrained by the Spirit to just bless you to get through the night without any bad seizures, and to help you feel of the love God has for you.
You slept, literally, like a baby.
The next morning, I asked how you felt about all these things, and even though you don't have the words yet to convey everything, the sweet smile on your face as we talked about how the blessing WORKED because of your faith was answer enough to me.
If you can have sweet experiences with the Spirit and the gospel like that, even now and again throughout your life, I won't have to worry about you at all.
So you are GETTING BAPTIZED!
I couldn't be prouder of you and the beautiful, faithful, sweet, smart young woman you are becoming. I am SO BLESSED to share these moments with you and to be your aunt!
Love forever,
Aunt Celeste
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